Steps To Help You Stop Worrying About Things You Can't Change

If you struggle with persistent anxiety, it is likely that overthinking and worrying is partly to blame. Although you may feel worrying is beneficial by protecting us from being unprepared, for the majority of people it causes more problems than it solves. Why not seek the help of our counsellors Ashford who practice cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) which has been proven to help reduce Anxiety.

When you find yourself worrying, just take some time to look at the things you can control as opposed to things you can’t. It’s important to recognise that, sometimes, all you can control is your response. When putting energy into the things you can control, you'll find yourself being more effective and productive.

Our Counsellors Ashford Kent suggest; people can prefer or influence certain situations, but they can't demand things go your way. For example; you can give your child the tools needed to do well in exams and encourage revision but you can't make them pass. You can plan a good party, but you can't make people have fun.

Have a long, hard think and be honest with yourself as to what you are really afraid will happen? Are you catastrophising the outcome without really thinking things through? Do you doubt your ability to cope if things don’t turn out as you wanted? More often than not, our worst-case scenario rarely happens. However, teach yourself to think, if my worst case to happen, I may not like it, but I will of course deal with it. There's a good chance you are stronger than you think. If you want help with identifying your negative thoughts and fears contact our Counsellors Ashford Kent.

By identifying and challenging our unhelpful thought processes we keep ourselves in check. When you find yourself catastrophising about something you have no control over then it is unhelpful. Telling yourself "people have to think that I my presentation is good at work tomorrow or it will be terrible!" is irrational - because it doesn’t change the fact that they might not like it. However, if you talk to yourself in a more helpful, rational way, such as “I would prefer it if everyone liked my presentation, it will be disappointing if they don’t, however I will of course deal with it if that does happen” 

Our Counsellors Ashford Kent suggest that there are some questions to ask yourself to help you rationalise your anxiety. 

1) What is your worst case scenario in this situation?

  

2) How many times before has your worst case scenario actually happened?

3) What steps can you take to reduce any like hood that the worst case might happen?

4) What is your best case in this situation or most likely scenario?

6) List all other possible scenarios/outcomes in this situation? How would you respond/behave?

7) If your worst case scenario was to happen – how would you deal with it? Visualise this in your mind. How would you respond/behave?

8) Is it productive worrying about this? Is it going to change the outcome?

For help – Contact one of our Counsellors at Counselling and CBT Ashford Kent.

When Every Day Is A Different Shade of Grey

Depression is a world-wide recognised mental illness that effects about one in ten of us. Depression is long lasting low mood that affects your ability to do everyday things, feel pleasure, or take interest in activities. Depression can affect anyone, is not a sign of weakness and nor does it have to last forever because it is treatable

Over the course of evolution, worry helped us adapt by directing awareness to true problems that once identified can be effectively addressed. In this way worry is effective in managing challenges of your everyday life. For some people, this process breaks down. Their minds become trapped in an endless process of thinking. Worriers are particularly challenged by problems that have no clear solution. Instead of accepting and managing these difficult realities, they are viewed as evidence of the futility of even trying to work things out. This leads to a feeling of constant ‘doom and gloom’ and can also lead to depression. Depression Ashford can help you see the wood from the tress and feel happy again.

 

Depression Counselling Ashford Kent recognises that this constant worry can lead to depressive thoughts.

Symptoms of depression include mood swings, sadness, anger, anxiety, apathy, hopelessness, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, unwanted thoughts, delusion, lack of concentration, racing thoughts and more. It’s sometimes inability to gain control over recurrent, distressing thoughts, images. These thoughts and images are embedded in a complex network of feelings, sensations, and sometimes there is not apparent cause of the depressive thoughts which leads to a vicious cycle – Depression Counselling Ashford Kent can help you identify these thoughts.  For example, worry reinforces depressive feelings which in turn, only lead to more worry and depression.

Sometimes depression focuses on future outcomes and not being able to see any good in the future. We ruminate and experience guilt, regret and anger, over perceived mistakes, losses, slights, actions taken or not taken, and opportunities forever lost, with irreversible, catastrophic results. Rumination is accompanied by a condemning, all-or-none criticism, and the overwhelming belief that if things had been different then existing and future misery could be avoided.

Obsessive thinking is difficult to control. If you are prone to obsessive thinking patterns, then you are likely to have tried forcing the unwanted thoughts out of your mind. However, although this might appear to hold some logic, evidence shows that this strategy rarely works. In fact, research suggests that attempts to try push away or block out obsessive thoughts may in fact intensify obsessive thinking.

Depression Counselling Ashford Kent offers both counselling and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). This is highly effective form of therapy in the treatment depression. CBT examines the distortions in the way we look at the world and ourselves and helps you identify automatic negative thoughts that contribute to your depression.

For example, when we feel down, it is of course difficult to get up, get dressed and go to work when we feel depressed, but it’s not impossible, and we will always feel better for doing so.

How CBT Therapy Can Help Overcome Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder OCD

Whatever life experiences have led to OCD, it is helpful to address the behaviours that maintain it, because this is the key to overcoming the problem. OCD is kept going by a vicious circle of obsession, anxiety and response to anxiety. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy CBT can help you break this cycle.

Avoidance plays a major role in keeping OCD going, along with compulsion and fear. Each time you avoid a situation or activity the behaviour is 'reinforced' because you have escaped the harm that you think might have happened. This reinforcing means that you're more likely to act the same way next time. Compulsions are also reinforced: if you feel less anxious after you check that the oven is off, you are more likely to act the same way in future. Avoidance and compulsions seem at first to work - you think that you have prevented harm and this stops you feeling anxious. But in the long term they make you more anxious and fearful, because they carry on feeding the OCD.

Our CBT Therapy Ashford Kent will help you recognise that if you have OCD you tend to have inflated sense of responsibility. This means that you believe you have the power to either cause or prevent 'bad' events that are important to you People with OCD often perform special actions to prevent something happening like an extreme form of superstition. It makes you feel more comfortable because they feel they have had influence and control over what happens. It's important to understand that many people experiences intrusive thoughts and doubts and that are usually absurd and are the opposite of what they want to do or think.

Another aspect of the meaning you attach to things if you have OCD is that you overestimate the threat of a situation and underestimate your ability to cope with it. So, for example, if you have a fear of contamination of illness you constantly check on the internet or go to your GP for reassurance. CBT Therapy Ashford will help you work through these fears and help you become more rational
Many people with OCD believe that they need to know for certain that something bad won't happen. For them, their OCD is an insurance policy which means thinking that if you try hard enough and do more rituals and get more reassurance then you can be more certain. In fact, as CBT Therapy Ashford points out - trying harder usually increases doubts and the feeling of uncertainty.

If you have OCD you are likely to focus on situations that you think might be dangerous. This has the effect of magnifying the situation and making you more aware of it. This creates another vicious circle, because the more you pay attention to your intrusive thoughts, the more you are aware of them, and the worse they become. If you would like to know more contact CBT Therapy Ashford Kent today.

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Don’t let anger get the better of you

Although anger can be a ‘normal’ emotion if it gets out of control and starts impacting your life and relationship detrimentally then it’s time to take control and get some professional. Our anger management counselling and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Ashford Kent can help you do just that.

Anger has affected us all at some point in our lives, it’s a common emotion, which can range from irritability and annoyance, through to rage. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) suggests that anger is an ‘unhealthy negative emotion’ and there is no room for it in our lives. This is because, in general, anger is based on what are called irrational beliefs. Beliefs that life has treated us unfairly or someone has violated our internal beliefs about how we think someone ‘should’ or ‘should not’ behave.

Anger can be serious and have a detrimental effect on your own mental and physical health and the people around you.  When we hold on to the belief that we have been unfairly treated or that others have broken our moral code, principals, standards or expectations, we can then fall into a ‘catastrophising’ trap. This is where we angrily claim that we can’t or won’t tolerate it! This unhelpful way of thinking leads to anger, which in turn stimulates the body's adrenaline response, sometimes resulting in us behaving in in a threatening or aggressive manner. Anger Management Counselling Ashford can help you with this and enable you to deal with things in a more helpful, rational and logical way.

When we experience anger we all express it different ways. Some people act out immediately by shouting and more seriously acting with physical violence.  Whilst others suppress their anger in the short term but go on to act in a passive aggressive manner by sulking, being obstructive, ignoring someone, manipulating people or situations.  A person who behaves in this way might not always show that they are angry, but underneath they are. Our Anger Management Counselling Ashford will help you deal with these negative emotions.

The type of anger management counselling we use is called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. CBT takes the view that there are helpful and unhelpful ways of reacting to a situation; determined the meaning we attach to it. If we have a tendency to run with our interpretation rather than fact, then is negative, unhelpful emotions and behaviour.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy CBT suggests that anger is not necessary and it does change anything.  Remaining calm whilst dealing with a problem enables you to deal with it more rationally. A perfect example is driving.  You may well feel annoyed if somebody cuts you up, however, choosing respond in an angry fashion, does not change something that has already happened. CBT suggest, you do not need to ‘like’ it when someone does or says something that you don’t happen to agree with, but you need to take responsibility for the reaction to your thoughts and respond more calm, logical way and not let your anger get the better of you!

So if you need help with Anger Management contact CBT and Counselling Kent today and book some time with Anger Management Counselling Ashford Kent.